This blog post originally appeared on The Mighty
I’ve had episodic migraines all my life, but they never debilitated me. A day or two before my period, when a bad headache would strike, I’d take four Advil, put an ice pack on my neck, and be fine a few hours later.
That all changed in June 2017. Here’s how I remember it: I took a flight from New York City to the West Coast, and then two more flights within the same week. I experienced 110 F Las Vegas summer weather, jet lag, and overall exhaustion. I was still feeling stressed from the news the month prior that I might be experiencing perimenopausal hormonal changes (read: premature ovarian failure). Then, on the fourth day of the trip, after sleeping for 16 hours straight, I woke up feeling an off-ness that grew into a slew of neurological symptoms that never went away.
This perfect storm of events, as my neurologist called it, must have set off a cascade inside my body that culminated in migraine, that has lasted for the last seven months in varying degrees of intensity. I have had various in and out symptoms including light sensitivity, dizziness, nausea, blurriness, stabbing eye pain, gastric stasis, brain fog, and headaches.
Some might call it status migrainosus, which by definition is a migraine that lasts for more than 72 hours. Whatever we call it, my migraines clearly went from being episodic to a chronic and disabling issue. The initial migraine technically broke two months later following a steroid taper, which gave me two days of relief. Since then, I have had on and off symptoms almost daily in varying degrees and intensities.
Despite the pain and discomfort, this time has been ripe with lessons in more mindful living:
Knowing and eliminating my triggers:
While migraine is often genetic, and there is no one agreed upon cause, there are triggers involved – which don’t cause an attack, but can set one off. Some are uncontrollable, like barometric pressure, and some can be managed through lifestyle changes. The latter requires meticulous self-calibration.
I’ve eliminated many dietary triggers, including alcohol, chocolate, anything with tyramine, anything with nitrates, and even some food high in histamines. The calibration continues, as even the amount of caffeine that I put in my body can put me at risk for symptoms. So every morning I have just the right amount of espresso, no more, no less. This also applies to sleep. I need enough sleep to feel well, but too much sleep can actually tip the scales in the wrong direction. This awareness to detail has been a bit painstaking, and it sometimes feels like a roulette game. Yet, I’ve never been so aware of what my body needs in any given moment.
Recognizing the subtle signs of a migraine before they escalate:
My interoceptive awareness has been heightened in a beneficial way. Some of the medications to abort migraine work best when you can catch the symptoms early. This has required me to be consciously aware of the subtle nuances in the way I feel at any given moment. Of course, at its extreme, this can become almost obsessive. But when it’s for the sake of one’s wellness, it feels calming to be able to know that I can help myself by being more attuned to my body.
For me, my heart starts to race, my vision tends to blur, and my shoulders and neck start to tighten. I’ve learned that by noticing these symptoms early, I can sometimes even skip the medication by immediately applying peppermint oil to my wrists and temples, ice on my forehead, and heat on my neck area.
Less “shoulding” all over myself:
I have a tendency to “should” all over myself to the tune of, “I should be writing my book right now, I should be creating my e-courses, and I should expand my practice to include group therapy, etc.” At times, however, the symptoms were so disabling that I couldn’t do much but lay in a dark room. In those moments, I worked hard on letting go of my “shoulds, ” such as, “How can I be laying here when I should be accomplishing this and that and the other thing?!”
Compassion for my body:
Chronic migraine forced me to take a break from physical exertion. With the lack of consistent cardio, coupled with the weight-gain side effects of certain medications, I saw the number on the scale go up. At first, I started to obsess over the weight that I “should” be at. Then, I started to have compassion for the strength of my body as it went through this process. Instead of focusing on pounds, I focused on wellness.
I am finally challenging many of the “shoulds” I’ve amassed, and as I do I notice the seeds of self-compassion budding within me.
Gratitude for moments of relief:
I’m certainly not going to imply that we have to struggle in some capacity to feel and express gratitude! Yet, the caliber of gratitude that I felt in the moments when I experienced even modicums of relief from my migraine symptoms, was something I’d never experienced in all my years of gratitude training. I found myself literally saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” But when the pain returned, and I was at risk for falling into a darkness, “Why was that relief taken away from me!?” I challenged that thought, and reminded myself that if I had a moment of relief, I would have another – and that gave me hope.
Gratitude for the care I have been, and continue to be, shown:
I tend to be more of a nurturer, caregiver type — much better at giving than receiving — but because of the sometimes disabling nature of migraine, I literally had no choice but to allow myself to surrender to others’ giving.
Whether it was foot massages in the throes of a more severe attack, ice and heat around the clock as needed, mailing me different essential oils, including peppermint — which I’ve found has been crucial — showing up to the ER when the relentless pain called for a visit, calling or checking in daily, helping me strategize to find the best and highest caliber treatment team, and even just holding me during some of the more emotional moments when I’d cry from exhaustion, when the hope was too hard to hold, when I couldn’t see my future.
To see those I love show up in many different ways to bring me even just a little more relief filled me with gratitude — again, the kind I had never quite felt before.
Patience in finding the right treatment:
By nature, I tend towards the more impatient end of the spectrum. I like to take productive action and see immediate results — cause and effect, right? Well, sometimes, life just doesn’t work like this and I have had to maintain patience across many facets of my migraine experience.
Finding the right treatment team takes time. Not every doctor is going to be the right fit for your needs, and that’s OK. However, it can feel like a job finding the point person who will facilitate the appropriate treatment, the clinician who is the right fit. After a few months, thanks to a friend’s recommendation, I’ve finally found someone.
Often, treating migraine also calls for finding the right cocktail of medications. This takes a lot of time, too. Not only do you need to find the right combination that works for each unique individual, but it also takes at least one month before you’ve given each and every medication its “fair shot.” Plus, some come with egregious side effects, and you have to decide: do you wait it out and hope they subside as the medication takes effect – or do you stop it, and start over?
I’d like the healing to be more linear and more blatant, but it’s not. There’s a lot of waiting involved, and the waiting feels compounded because it happens sometimes in the context of great discomfort and pain. Baby steps is my new mantra, but none of this feels easy.
So, while it’s taken a solid treatment team, preventative meds, significant lifestyle and dietary changes, and incredible support, I have no doubt that these lessons are part of my healing process.
That’s the irony of all ironies. The lessons learned are like lifeboats in an unpredictable, roaring sea. Again, one doesn’t have to struggle to “see the light,” but if one is experiencing discomfort and pain, there’s more to see in that muck than meets the eye.
This blog post originally appeared on The Huffington Post.
Finally, after a fulfilling but very long and arduous day of work, and perhaps for some, a foray into getting the kids fed and bathed and to bed, you finally have time for yourself, to unwind, and then eventually, grab some slumber. Sounds dreamy – pun intended. Then imagine the bliss of whatever rest you were able to grab being pulled out from under you by the shrieking of an alarm at the crack of dawn, catapulting your mind and body and brain back to the reality of a new day.
Yes, a new day is theoretically full of potential; a new opportunity to move toward personal and professional goals, a chance to show up for oneself and one’s loved ones with even more compassion and love. Yet, all the newness falls by the wayside as you press the snooze button again, and then are faced with this same jolting shriek-snooze cycle until you finally acquiesce to the call to action to get out of bed and begin the day’s journey.
Not hard to imagine, because this sounds like many of our realities. This daily routine often primes us for anxiety, right upon waking in the morning. Here are some reasons why this time of day is a particularly vulnerable one.
Causes of Early Morning Anxiety
1. Sometimes, the blatant contrast between the sleeping and waking states, often heralded in by the shrieking of an alarm, can be jarring to our senses. In fact, sometimes we are so blindsided by the transition, that we immediately go into fight or flight mode.
2. Fight or flight mode can actually be elicited by the mere fact that our blood sugar has dropped through the night and our brains need more fuel. The symptoms of a low blood sugar response can mimic the feeling of a panic attack, characterized by lightheadedness, dizziness, and increased heart rate.
3. Cognitively, the morning is often the time when we are more apt to engage in unhelpful thinking, given the level of anticipatory anxiety as we envision our to-do lists, and wonder how we are going to get through the day. These kinds of thoughts, though unhelpful, flood our minds in the morning, as we grasp toward trying to leverage control over the rest of the day.
One way to offset this potential morning anxiety is by establishing clear morning rituals to follow as we start to transition into the daylight hours. Aside from just symptom reduction, they also serve as a way to take the time to frame the day in a way that elicits increased overall wellness.
I, therefore, want to share my personal morning routine here with you as an example of how to leverage the rooster within and thrive throughout the day!
Five Ways to Leverage the Rooster Within
Upon waking and feeling any stress or discomfort, my immediate go-to is to find my breath. Engaging the breath provides me with an opportunity to help lower my heart rate that is sometimes elevated in the morning if I’m hyper-aroused out of slumber by a “rude” awakening.
My breath also reminds me that I am alive and that I am able to choose to focus on controlling the sensation of the inhale and the exhale. I like to imagine my breath feeding and rejuvenating my cells with each inhale. It is a great way for me to then literally gain a sense of control to get motivated to start moving in the morning.
For an example of how you can follow this morning routine too, click here for my instructional video of my personally curated breathing exercise.
STRETCH THE PSOAS
Stretching is a great way to relieve the tension or stiffness that’s often entrenched in our body in the morning.
I want to make particular note of how much relief can be felt in stretching the psoas muscles. According to Dr. Christian Northrup, a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness, the psoas muscles (pronounced SO-as) may be the most important group of muscles in our body.
They are the only muscles that connect the spine to the legs, attaching from the 12th thoracic vertebra to the 5th lumbar vertebra through the pelvis and down to the femurs. Needless to say, the psoas muscles, therefore, play a crucial role in one’s core structural wellness, especially the psoas major, the biggest muscle of the group.
The absolutely mind-blowing understanding regarding the psoas muscles though, is that they have been actually touted as instrumental to one’s mental well-being as well!
According to Liz Koch, who wrote, The Psoas Book, anatomically speaking, the psoas muscles flank the diaphragm and the many connections between the psoas muscles and the diaphragm literally link these muscles to our breath, which is sensitive to fear. When we are in a state of fear, the breath is shallow and constricted, and the diaphragm isn’t being used to take deeper, calming breaths. The psoas feels this, and holds the fear.
This means that if we are in a constant fight or flight mode, due to chronic stress, then our psoas muscles are also chronically stressed and constricted. This would also mean that an over-constricted psoas, caused by poor posture for example, could actually elicit fear. So, after hours and hours of sitting in a position that constricts our psoas muscles, it’s no wonder we have a visceral feeling of tension that seems to envelop our minds, bodies, and brains.
I adore stretching my psoas major in the morning to start the day. It literally feels like ten big sighs of relief all in one. Want more information on HOW to release and stretch your psoas? Here’s a great video to follow from GuerillaZen Fitness.
Many suggest that having The Attitude of Gratitude is the key to a better life. And the research concurs: cultivating gratitude has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, and both decreased anxiety and depression.
In fact, gratitude has become a self-help buzzword. Turns out though that the benefits of saying “thank you” aren’t just grand delusions or a bunch of fluff. According to Robert Emmons, a renowned gratitude expert, gratitude has two parts. He says that first, “it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.” Then, “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves.”
This definition allows gratitude to become a way for us to appreciate what we have, instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes that it will make us happier. We can definitely feel satisfied EVEN IF our every physical and material need is not met. It also allows us to trust in something greater than us, which can allow us to let go of needing to always control every little detail of our lives, which can be anxiety provoking.
Looking for ways to cultivate gratitude? Here are some examples from Harvard’s Health Newsletter.
At the very least, I like to just simply say “thank you” to whatever out there is greater than I am, for this gift of a new day.
DRINK ESPRESSO – WITH A DASH OF TURMERIC
As you might know if you follow my social media posts and photos, I love my morning espresso routine.
Espresso itself has some touted benefits, but what I really like is the routine. In fact, for the last year or so, I have incorporated espresso into my morning mindfulness meditation practice by really becoming present to every aspect of the process, from the way I fill the water in the machine to the sound the machine makes as the stream of brown sultry liquid emanating from portafilter flows into the shot glass, as the rich crema forms on top, to the aroma, to the first sip.
Aside from this, espresso is rich in antioxidants and boosts the body’s immunity. Yes, there is caffeine, and too much caffeine can mimic the feeling of anxiety, but that is why moderation is important. Just one or two shots of espresso invigorate me to the core, energizing me, and even elicit a sense of cognitive acumen and focus without adding to any morning anxiety. In fact, the ritual relieves me of anxiety, through the mindfulness practice and the promise of the experience each morning (see gratitude!)
I don’t just have espresso though. I try to really foster wellness by adding some spice, literally, by shaking in some turmeric. The compound in turmeric that is both responsible for its hue and its health benefits is called Curcumin. Curcumin has been indicated in staving off heartburn and indigestion, decreased anxiety and improved mood, balancing blood sugar, and helping to relieve stiff and achy joints.
Something to truly look forward to each morning.
PRACTICE TAKING PAUSE
I talk often about taking pause. Taking just ONE extra moment in the morning to STOP can make a difference in how we live our lives each day.
When you wake up in the morning, before you jump into your to-do list, remember to STOP (Stop. Take a breath. Observe. Proceed). This routine gears us up for the day and our lives in general.
There are going to be many moments throughout the day that call upon us to choose how to show up for ourselves and others, and practicing taking this pause can help us with making more conscious choices.
This is true regardless of where or with whom that moment occurs—at home with our children, alone in our cars, at work among colleagues, and so on. In every situation, we can choose to React or Respond. Reacting is a reflexive, and sometimes impulsive, way to behave in a situation. It’s not adaptive and often leads to increased stress and tension.
In contrast, responding is a more mindful approach and can include active listening and a gentler tone of speech. But in order to respond in lieu of reacting, we need to first STOP. Just ONE extra moment to take a step back, regroup, and consider a healthier response can make a huge difference.
Let’s START each day with thriving by calling upon these techniques and our unique morning rituals to look forward to, in order to best leverage our inner roosters and greet every new day with joy and gratitude.
This blog post originally appeared on Mindful.org
It is officially the holiday season! During this time of year there can be so much pressure that unfortunately the joy, magic, and meaning of the season is lost, often replaced by stress. Especially now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, it is hard to ignore the almost instantaneous rush of frenetic energy that ensues as we near the close of the calendar year.
It is more than possible though to not only survive the holiday season, but to even thrive and connect to your particular observance in a deeper and more profound way. Here are some common stressors that pop up this time this year, and mindful antidotes to help you through the discomfort.
1) Demands on Time
In December, our schedules often fill up quickly with work and personal holiday parties. These back-to-back parties start to feel overwhelming as we try to juggle them with all of our other commitments.
Also, creating the holiday experience we desire for our loved ones and ourselves takes planning. It often starts to feel like we are chickens running around with no heads collecting recipes, buying and wrapping gifts, inviting guests, hosting, traveling, cooking, cleaning, buying trees (or menorahs!), and decorating.
Antidote: Treat yourself!
You do not need to say yes to everything. Giving and giving without stopping is not an altruistic notion. It is important to be mindful of when we might need refueling and to allow that to happen. Self-care can mean many things, but it can be as simple as a night to ourselves that includes a bath and a good meal—cooked by someone else!
2) Loneliness During the Holidays
There is an immense amount of pressure to please the people we love with the gifts that we think they will love. Instead of a joyful endeavor, gift giving becomes a chore, and we often become resentful and unloved if we do not receive something equally meaningful in return.
Pressure can also manifest by way of the longing to spend the holidays with those we love, and those we desire to love. For many, this may create feelings of loneliness.
Antidote: Donate your time to help those less fortunate.
The holidays are a particularly poignant time to practice the art of compassion, to think of others needs before our own. There is great opportunity to give to, and establish meaningful connections with, those who don’t have as many resources as we do. Giving doesn’t have to be monetary or a physical gift. Giving comes in many forms, including smiles, time, and emotional support.
3) Expectations of Perfection
This time of year is ripe with the expectations we put upon ourselves to get it just “right.” Things have to look, taste, feel, and be a certain way. We start to get into this mind space where things have to be perfect, which of course, is not possible. It’s how we deal with this realization that determines our well-being.
While it is nice to take the time to create a mindful, aesthetically, and gustatorily pleasing experience, we often get caught up in the trap of perfection. Not only does this make the holiday journey feel less joyful, but we also set ourselves up to experience a lot of disappointment.
Antidote: Reflect on the meaning of the holidays.
It is hard to stop and smell the roses at any time of year, and it is especially easy to get caught up in the commercial version of what the holiday season means today. But taking the time to mindfully reflect on what matters, whether it be our religion or tradition, or even the healing power of love, helps us to keep our perspective as the year draws to a close.
4) The Indulge/Guilt Cycle
We often seem to let all notions of wellness and health fall by the wayside during this time of year. The problem is not only are we not staying healthy, but we are also setting ourselves up for feelings of guilt and self-deprecation.
A thriving life depends on moderation, and this concept particularly applies when we are inundated with mass amounts of food and drink. By eating mindfully, we can keep our minds, bodies, and brains healthy without the self-defeating thoughts of “we are so bad” “we are so fat,” etc.
Antidote: Take time to enjoy all the flavors of the holiday season.
There are five (A,B,C,D,E) basic ways to begin a mindful eating practice:
- Why am I eating now?
- What am I eating now?
- What else am I doing now that may be distracting?
2. Be grateful
3. Chew, and then chew again
4. Dine (don’t just eat)
5. Engage your attention
5) Stress: Family Anxiety
Family stress shows up in many ways. This has taken on a new tone this year, given that many families made different political choices.
While there might actually be very real difficulties surrounding the interpersonal dynamics of our family, we sometimes get caught up in fuelling the fire, rather than abating it.
However, most of the stress and anxiety around family is often anticipatory. Based on not-so-pleasant past experiences, combined with the upcoming impending mix of different personalities, we start to worry about family dysfunction rearing its ugly head. While there might actually be very real difficulties surrounding the interpersonal dynamics of our family, we sometimes get caught up in fuelling the fire, rather than abating it.
Antidote: Engage in gratitude.
Take the time to step back and bear witness to all that you have, to count your blessings, as they say. Gratitude goes a long way when it comes to overall wellness. During this time of year, a sense of gratitude can easily fall by the wayside as indulgence and the idea of “more” and “merrier” are front and center.
So, while in the midst of the tumult of the holiday season, try to re-center by consciously being grateful for the multiple aspects of this season, and our loved ones, that we are blessed to engage with.
Just to reiterate:
The body is composed of more bacteria than it is cells. Collectively, the trillions of bacteria are called the microbiome. Most of the microbiome reside in our gut, and is sometimes referred to as the gut microbiota. We all have our own unique microbiome. A healthy gut can be different iterations of bacteria for different people, because it is this diversity that maintains wellness.
The microbiome is capable of playing a vital role in physical and psychological health via its own neural network, the enteric nervous system (ENS), sometimes referred to as the second brain.
A shift away from “normal” gut microbiota diversity is called dysbiosis, and dysbiosis may contribute to disease. In fact, alterations in the diversity and stability of the gut microbiome has been linked to many diseases, including autoimmune, gastrointestinal, and even brain disorders.
The microbiome is capable of playing a vital role in physical and psychological health via its own neural network, the enteric nervous system (ENS), sometimes referred to as the second brain.
Given the far-reaching health implications that the ENS is now understood to mediate, treatment for many neurological, neuropsychiatric, autoimmune, and gastrointestinal difficulties have taken a new turn. Perhaps one of the best ways to boost our brain is by maintaining impeccable gut health. So to, for functional GI disorders, it might be impossible to heal a distressed gut without considering the impact of stress and emotion.
This all begs the question: What are some lifestyle choices we can make to foster optimal mind-body-brain wellness? I have many suggestions, but in this post, I want to focus on one specific technique that will efficiently elicit holistic benefits: mindful eating.
Mindful eating, in my opinion, speaks to being mindful of both what, and how, we eat. Paying attention to what we put into our mouths protects us from choosing the types of foods that are particularly toxic to both our gut and brain. For different people, different foods are more or less inclined to cause dysbiosis. Generally speaking, however, the more processed the food, the more noxious.
Mindless eating can wreak havoc on our digestive abilities by eliciting stress hormones, and therefore can add pounds, take away pleasure, and maintain functional gastrointestinal difficulties. In contrast, eating mindfully reduces our stress hormones, and gives our body the time and space it needs to thoroughly digest food, without the inflammation.
Aside from reducing stress hormones, mindful eating enables us to slowly and sensually savor the action of eating, creating an experience to delight in. It also allows us to engage with our inner sense of satiety, which helps curb the over-eating that leaves us feeling uncomfortable.
Mindful Eating for the Brain and Gut
Keeping all of this in mind, here are five (A,B,C,D,E) ways to begin a mindful eating practice.
When it comes to mindful eating, we don’t have to have a set formal practice. We can initially begin by asking ourselves some key questions:
• Why am I eating now: am I hungry, or craving something else?
• What am I eating now: will this choice serve my wellness in some way or will my body and mind regret this choice? You can think of this question as a cost-benefit analysis. It is OK to treat yourself to something that isn’t necessarily the healthiest choice, if it is in moderation. Yet, ask yourself if it is worth it, or will it wreak havoc to the point at which it is no longer even a treat?
• What else am I doing now: am I about to eat something while I also read an article, or watch TV, or have a conversation? Give yourself permission to JUST eat.
2. Be grateful
Before you lean in to whatever it is you are going to ingest, take a moment to reflect on how grateful you are for being able to engage in this meal. This can be a formal prayer, or as informal as saying thank you in your mind or out loud to the sun, the earth, the farmers, and even the universe for having a hand in delivering this food to your mouth.
3. Chew, and then chew again
Since our actual digestion begins with chewing, taking the time to chew, and then chew again, helps the enzymes in our saliva do its job so that we can effectively absorb nutrients and get the most out of the food we are eating.
There is eating and then there is dining. Many of us don’t have the time to sit down to a formal meal, especially during a busy work day. Yet, dining can be as simple as allowing yourself to experience every sensation of your meal as it unfolds with each moment. Dine by indulging in the different aromas, textures, and tastes of everything you eat, instead of going from bite to bite—or, more often, swallow to swallow.
5. Engage your attention
Whether you are practicing a formal sitting meditation using the breath as your guide, or eating mindfully, a core component to mindfulness practice is engaging your attention, tuning-in, and regulating if necessary. Our minds inevitably wander—that is just a fact of being human. When you are eating and begin to notice the mental chatter and commentary, without judgment, see if you can redirect your attention back to the experience of dining; of experiencing all sensations.
I am every woman
who serves our country on the front lines
who goes through puberty
awkward ashamed and framed
by mother nature
who feels stigmatized or satirized
as latter-day hysterics
made to think it is all in our heads
you are every woman
who gives birth to a hungry child
in war-torn Africa
who loses an ovary
or a breast or a uterus
to cancer or just to life
who cycles as each mood
is manifested by screaming hormones
she is every woman
who drinks to numb the pain
of post-partum lows
who feels betrayed by the body
as she ages physically but not in spirit
who binges and starves
behind society’s billboard of expectations
we are every woman
who dreams outside
of the box
eyes closed lips moving
who cries viscerally
laying in a fetal position
from a broken heart
or mind or body or soul
we are every woman who rises up-
every time. everywhere.
Who is a woman you are grateful for? Look up to? Respect? Tell us about the special woman in your lives and why they are EVERY Woman…